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ENGLISH IS A QUEER LANGUAGE

Unknown author

We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes , But the plural of ox is oxen , not "oxes" Then one fowl is a goose and two are geese , Yet the plural of moose would never be "meese," You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice , But the plural of house is houses , not "hice." If the plural of man is always men , Why shouldn‘t the plural of pan be "pen"? Cow in the plural may be cows or kine . But the plural of vow is vows , not "vine." I speak of a foot and you show me your feet . I give you a boot ; would you call a pair "beet"? If the singular is tooth and the plural teeth , Why shouldn‘t the plural of booth be "beeth"? If the singular is this, and the plural is these , Should the plural of kiss rightly be "keese"? Then, with ONE you use that and with THREE, those , Yet the plural of hat is never called "hose." We speak of a brother and also of brethren ; But though we say mother , we never say "methren." The masculine pronouns are he, his and him , But imagine the feminine as she , "shis," and "shim." So English, I think -- and you must agree — Is a language as queer as any you‘ll see.